Each month, PracticeLink’s “Packing My Own ’Chute” series chronicles the unique trials and challenges of Sandra L. Schulz, Q.C., a lawyer and mediator who operates a private practice from her home in Alberta. In Part V, Sandra discusses the importance of networking, and how to "work the room".
Packing My Own ‘Chute: Part V – Chutzpah (Working the Room)
By Sandra L. Schulz, Q.C.
My heart sank as my gaze swept the room. Not only did I not recognize a soul in the place, I realized the chances of finding my host were slim to none. I had agreed to deliver a paper at this conference, thinking it would be a good networking opportunity. Now, as I stood on the threshold of the Welcome Reception, I realized I had not thought through what that might mean on a practical level.
How was I going to work this room?
First things first. I walked over to the registration desk and got my name tag. I remembered someone telling me years ago to pin it on the right lapel so that it was front and foremost when reaching out to shake hands. Now that I was appropriately tagged, I had no excuse to continue hanging around the entrance. I summoned every ounce of Chutzpah I had and boldly stepped into the room.
The room was abuzz with old friends noisily greeting each other, gesticulating dramatically to emphasize their points as they sipped their drinks. Inside my head, I heard my parents’ dire warning, “Don’t talk to strangers!” Panic was setting in as I wondered how I was ever going to break into this crowd.
I decided to get a drink. I knew better than to consume too much alcohol at a function like this, but it seemed uncool to ask for a Diet Coke. Instead, I asked for a sparkling water and the bartender kindly put it in a highball glass that I wouldn’t look too out of place. The glass gave me something to do with my hands and a corresponding sense of security as I surveyed the room.
I spotted a “wallflower” at the side of the room. The poor woman looked miserable as she surveyed the crowd. She tentatively approached a fellow in a small group nearby, juggled her briefcase and conference materials, and awkwardly stuck out her hand as she introduced herself. I made a mental note not to load myself up with stuff when I came to these functions so that my hands would be free to greet people.
I turned my head and saw a man confidently striding toward me, smiling broadly and extending his hand in greeting. As he grasped my hand firmly in his, I realized with horror that my hand was cold and clammy from clutching my drink. Another mental note to self: hold the drink in the left hand so no one has to shake hands with an iceberg. I made a joke of it (“Cold hands, Warm heart!”) and we settled into an interesting conversation initiated by his question, “So what brings you to the conference?”. He deftly asked me open-ended questions designed to get me talking. New topics seemed to flow very naturally from our conversation as he followed up on things that I said.
I knew that the conversation should not go on for too long. That elusive “someone” had also told me a good general rule was to limit conversations at a networking reception to approximately 10 minutes to ensure ample time to circulate. This presented me with the old dilemma: how do you end a conversation without being rude?
One technique I had used in the past was to excuse myself because I just saw someone across the room with whom I had to speak. That wasn’t going to work here. I didn’t want to go back to standing alone, but speaking to one person all night was not going to accomplish my networking objective either. Since Chutzpah was my rule for the evening, I decided to be bold and said, “Well, it has been a pleasure meeting you. Let me know how you enjoy the conference.” There, it was easy! He didn’t seem insulted. In fact, he was very gracious and, come to think of it, he probably needed to do the same thing. But now I had a problem. I had to join another conversation!
I surveyed the room again, all the while wracking my brain for a good conversation opener. These people were potential clients, so I knew I had to be able to connect with them on some level.
My gaze once again landed on the wallflower in the grey suit. She was now hovering around the edge of a couple engaged in an intense conversation. Their body language was not signaling a willingness to include others in whatever they were discussing with such intensity.
I then approached a seemingly more inviting group and was soon drawn into a lively conversation that was good for a number of new and interesting contacts. I started to build a good rapport with a few people that could easily lead to new friendships and maybe even future business opportunities. This was hard work, but once it got started it came more easily.
After a short while, a waiter came around with a tray of hors d’oeuvres, and a gentleman standing in a nearby group reached for something unidentifiable on a cracker. Seizing the opportunity to extricate myself from the current group, I asked him what it was and whether it was it tasty. We managed to keep the conversation rolling for a few minutes before he introduced me to the group of people he had been talking with. That was easy—I had just left one group and immediately met five new people, just by asking someone about the food!
I was starting to have fun.
Suddenly, my host appeared at my side to take me around and introduce me to some of the other attendees. Now this was the easiest way of all to meet people! By the end of the evening, I had made a few good connections and had a list of potential clients to follow up with. The event turned out to be a success despite my initial misgivings. All it took was a little Chutzpah and a smile.
Post Script: The wallflower in the grey suit was one of the people introduced to me by my host. She turned out to be one of the keynote speakers. I was amazed that someone so accomplished was obviously so uncomfortable with working the room. It just goes to show you that sometimes the wallflower in the corner of the room is the contact you need to make!
Networking Lessons Learned:
1. Survey the room when you first arrive. Try to spot the best opportunity for making a connection. It could be an acquaintance, but it might also be someone else standing alone or in a small group.
2. Always carry business cards in an accessible spot—a difficult task when your clothes don’t have pockets (women in this predicament can carry a purse with easy access). Keep your hands free for shaking hands or digging out those business cards.
3. Don’t be afraid to both give out and request business cards. After the event, use the back of the business card to record important information about the person or their business, and remember to follow up on any promises you made.
4. Have a supply of small talk ready. You can get ideas from the newspaper, trade journals or even from your surroundings. Avoid anything too negative or controversial like religion or politics, unless appropriate for your group.
5. Watch and learn from others—some people are masters at working the room.
6. Working the room is 75% Chutzpah (courage) and 25% preparation. Preparation makes it easier to have Chutzpah.
Nest Installment: After the Conference is over … What next?
