Script 111 gives information only, not legal advice. If you have a legal problem or need legal advice, you should speak to a lawyer. For the name of a lawyer to consult, call Lawyer Referral at 604.687.3221 in the lower mainland or 1.800.663.1919 elsewhere in British Columbia.

This script discusses both mediation and another alternative way to resolve family law disputes called “collaborative family law” or “collaborative separation and divorce.”

What is mediation?
When a married couple or a couple who are living together decide to separate or divorce, they’re often faced with many issues. Who should the children live with? What about access? How much support or maintenance should the husband or wife pay? Who gets to stay in the family home? How will the assets be divided?

But many couples don’t want to fight in court to resolve these questions. They want to work together cooperatively to come to an agreement that suits each of their needs as best as possible, while still maintaining their legal rights. They also want to resolve these issues without paying huge legal bills. One way to do this is through family mediation.

What happens in mediation?
In mediation, you and your spouse or partner work together to identify and resolve the problems in your family due to the separation or divorce. Usually the mediator is a lawyer, psychologist or other trained helping professional. A lawyer-mediator cannot give individual legal advice, but can give you general information about family law. The mediator listens to what’s important to both of you, asks for your opinions on the issues, and helps the two of you come to your own solutions about the future. If you have children, the mediator will help you make decisions that will be best for them.

How do you prepare for a mediation?
Before you hire a mediator, you and your spouse should meet separately with your own lawyers, who will tell you what to expect at the mediation and what information you need to take with you to the first session. Your lawyers will also help you gather that information.

How much does mediation cost?
Mediation is usually less expensive than going to court. When you first meet with a mediator, he or she will discuss the costs with you and your partner.

How long does mediation take?
The mediation meetings are normally two to four hours long. There could be more than one meeting, depending on how many issues need to be resolved. Sometimes the mediator may meet with one of you separately. The mediator may also give each of you “home work” to identify the issues and help disclose all financial and other matters.

An agreement will be prepared at the end of the mediation
With the results of the mediation process, the mediator or your lawyers will prepare an agreement. While the mediator helps you and your spouse or partner to come to an agreement, you must each still have your own lawyer to advise you at the end. Both lawyers must be satisfied with the decisions you’ve reached before the agreement is signed. 

What is “collaborative family law”?
Collaborative family law is a process where you and your spouse or partner, together with your respective lawyers, agree to “collaborate” or work together to create acceptable solutions that work well for both of you without going to court. The collaborative process is centered on your needs and your children’s needs. Communications are open and full, and you and your spouse or partner are encouraged to reach your own decisions about issues that are important to you.

If you choose, you may also hire other collaborative professionals
Divorce coaches, child and financial specialists, and other collaborative professionals are trained to help you agree on parenting plans and negotiate child and spousal support in a non-adversarial way.

How long does it take to resolve matters using a collaborative approach?
Experience has shown that more than a single meeting is required to come to a collaborative agreement on all issues. The number of meetings will depend on how many issues need to be resolved. The two lawyers may meet to discuss information about each of you and set agendas for meetings involving you, your spouse or partner, and your respective lawyers. Occasionally an agreement is reached after only one four-way meeting involving all of you. It’s in these four-way meetings that your agreement is negotiated.

An agreement reached through mediation or collaboration is a legal contract
It can only be changed if you and your spouse or partner both agree or a court orders a change. As a contract, the agreement can be enforced by starting an action in court. If you’re married and either of you seeks a divorce, the agreement can be shown to the judge who can approve it or make it part of the divorce order. If it’s fair, the court will probably approve the agreement.

What if you need to change the agreement?
If circumstances later change, you and your spouse or partner can go back to a mediator or negotiate the change in your agreement yourselves or with the help of collaborative family lawyers. The court can also always make a change.

Mediation and collaborative family law aren’t always appropriate
While they’re very good ways of resolving family issues, they may not be appropriate if there’s been family violence or child abuse, or if the other spouse won’t participate fairly during the mediation or the collaborative divorce process.

How do you find a qualified and experienced mediator?

• For a lawyer-mediator, you can phone the Lawyer Referral Service at 604.687.3221 in Vancouver or 1.800.663.1919 toll-free elsewhere in BC. A lawyer-mediator is especially useful if one of your issues is dividing up the assets and property. 
• You can also contact Family Mediation Canada at 1.877.362.2005 (toll-free) and ask for a list of family mediators in your area. Their website is www.fmc.ca. 
• Another source is the British Columbia Mediation Roster Society, which maintains a list of family mediators. Call 1.888.713.0433 or click on www.mediator-roster.bc.ca on the Internet.

When you have the names of some mediators, ask each of them the following questions before deciding who to use:

• Does the mediator belong to any professional organizations for mediators? 
• What kind of training has the mediator received, and how long has he or she practiced as a mediator? 
• What kinds of mediation are handled? (Some mediators may deal only with child custody and access disputes. If you want to mediate financial and/or property issues, you’ll want a lawyer-mediator who has training and experience in that field.) 
• How much will it cost?

A Provincial Court Family Justice Counsellor may also be able to help you. They typically help people of modest means with custody, access, guardianship or child support disputes in Provincial Court. Their services are free. Phone 604.660.2421 in Greater Vancouver, 250.387.6121 in Victoria or toll-free 1.800.663.7867 elsewhere in BC, and ask to speak with a Family Justice Counsellor in the Family Justice Centre nearest you. Also see the Family Justice website at www.ag.gov.bc.ca/family-justice.

How do you find a lawyer trained in collaborative family law?

• Phone the Lawyer Referral Service at 604.687.3221 in Vancouver or 1.800.663.1919 elsewhere in BC. 
• In Vancouver, you can also call the Collaborative Divorce Association of Vancouver at 604.878.1498 or visit their website at www.collaborativedivorcebc.org for the name of a member lawyer, as well as for names of other collaborative professionals. All members of the association have received both collaborative family law and mediation training. 
• In Victoria, call 250.704.2600 or go to www.collaborativefamilylawgroup.com for information on the Collaborative Family Law Group of Victoria.
• In Kelowna and the Okanagan, check the Okanagan Collaborative Family Group at www.collaborativefamilylaw.ca.

You’ll want to ask the collaborative lawyer the same questions as you would a mediator before deciding on who to use.

[updated August 2007]

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