Is there a Doctorate in the House?
by Tony Wilson

Twenty two years ago, I was asked by a lawyer at my old firm whether I was going to The Law School that night for a reception. “Are they helicoptering us there or do we have to take the Ferry?” I answered, knowing full well that when she said “The Law School,” she meant UBC, and not UVic. Thus began my long and arduous mission of convincing my Vancouver colleagues that just like there’s more than one cola in the world, there’s more than one law school in B.C. too. Many fine lawyers went to UVic by choice, rather than that other place, (which like the word Voldemort, I try not to mention too much by name, lest it encourage them). Although we’re in the minority in terms of representation in the Vancouver firms, we’re in the majority in terms of blowing horns about our old Alma Mater, its culture, its instructors, the nearby pubs, its Rugby Team (at least in my day), and dare I brag, its vastly superior building.

I feel compelled to trumpet UVic’s law school, in part because it actually admitted me (last, but who’s counting), but also because the class I graduated from in 1985, was more or less all called in 1986, and amazingly, 21 years have slipped between then and now. If we ever see each other, we compare notes about who among us are now judges, the sports statistics of our kids, the possibility that partnership may be the booby prize and not the prize, and the recreational uses of Viagra.

But the long standing rivalry between the two law schools is about to enter a new phase. Like U of T a few years ago, UBC is now formally considering granting Juris Doctorates to its new law grads and giving its old LL.B. recipients the option of converting to the more “desirable” J.D.

But we all know the real reason why UBC is doing this, don’t we? It’s not that LL.B.’s may be seen as the poor cousin of the J.D. in the New York or London job markets. It’s really because they want to taunt us. They want us to call them all “Doctor”!

To avoid jeopardizing under-graduate funding formulas when you start awarding J.D.’s instead of LL.B.’s, and to dissuade UBC grads from bragging incessantly about their new doctorates, dishing out mock Viagra prescriptions at parties and offering medical examinations along with legal advice, my solution is for both law schools to award J.D.’s to any of their graduates who have been called to the Bar (any bar!). The catch is, like an MA (Oxon), a formal dinner must be attended after a year in the trenches of life before you can get it.

The essential question of course, is where should the dinners be held? No doubt, the newly converted UBC J.D.’s of my vintage would strive to have it somewhere posh in Vancouver. But as I act for many of the best restaurants in town, I could call in a few favours and surreptitiously squeeze all the converted UVic J.D.’s into the same restaurant on the same night, just to have the most Quacks under one roof and get in the Guinness Book of World Records. Then, we could all call each other “Doctor”, drink to our health and reminisce about old times.

But life is busy for all of us, and there is never enough time, even for old times. If the J.D. is ever awarded, it will come in the mail like the Visa bill, together with sincere congratulations and another heartfelt request for money.

Tony Wilson is a Franchise and Intellectual Property Lawyer at Boughton. Nothing Official was recently voted one of the top four regular magazine columns in Western Canada by the Western Magazine Awards Foundation, and he will never let anyone forget it!

Although Tony Wilson’s “Nothing Official” column may be the first thing B.C. lawyers read in BarTalk, others seem to be reading him too. Out of almost 50 nominations, Nothing Official was voted by the Western Magazine Awards Foundation as one of the four top regular magazine columns in Western Canada. Congratulations Tony!

This article was published in the August 2007 issue of BarTalk and is subject to the copyright by the British Columbia Branch of the Canadian Bar Association, 2007, all rights reserved.