by Nancy Payeur, MSW, RSW

Hope – sharing hope and joy with others is what this season is really about! Hang onto that spirit and allow it to guide your choices. The caring that only you can give to others is what makes the difference. This – as they say in the commercials – is priceless. In a few years, they won’t remember what gifts you gave, but they’ll remember the fun you had together stringing popcorn or decorating the tree. Of course, not everyone has a close family nor do we all celebrate Christmas. If you are alone, consider what you can give back, whether it’s volunteering for the Food Bank or visiting an elderly friend. By helping others, we often help ourselves.

OPEN – as in, being open to new traditions. Keep what works and discard or adapt what isn’t working for you and your family. Remember, what worked previously may no longer be a fit for this stage of your lives. Talk about holiday plans with family and friends in advance, and be honest about your preferences, bringing up ideas for new celebrations. One way to simplify is cutting back on gifts, either by setting a dollar limit or exchanging names. Some clans have gotten really creative – adopting a “tacky or used gifts only” rule – keeping the fun and taking the stress out of gift giving.

LOVE – The Beatles sang “all you need is love” and Freud said love and work are what matter. If you’re feeling a lack of love in your life these days, resolve to do something now to change that reality. Not easy but important. Reaching out to long lost friends, taking time to get to know those around you, getting involved in a cause you believe in with others who share your passion – all of these can gradually help bring more connection into your world.

INNER CALM – is what you feel when your daily life stays connected to your values. During the rush of the season and surrounded by media hype, it’s easy to be distracted – remember your personal priorities and live them. Make room for the big stuff.

DECLINE to spend time doing things that drain you. Decompressing from a jam-packed schedule is more essential to your happiness than spending hours on elaborate decorating or entertaining. Keep it simple. Embrace the anti-Martha within!

ASSESS – AND ACT. Reflect on what you’ve enjoyed about past holidays and make these things happen. Whether it’s listening to music, visiting Santa with your niece or quiet walks with your partner, make deliberate choices that fit your needs today.

YEARLY RITUALS are helpful when they bring a sense of continuity and comfort to hectic lives. The best traditions remind us of whom we are – our personal and family histories. They become something familiar we anticipate – even those as simple as treasured ornaments or special recipes.

SERENDIPITY is defined as the ability for happening upon fortunate discoveries when we least expect them. Make sure you make room in your holidays for unexpected and magical pleasures. Merry Christmas.

Nancy Payeur, MSW, RSW, Director of Services, Interlock

This article was published in the December 2006 issue of BarTalk and is subject to the copyright by the British Columbia Branch of the Canadian Bar Association, 2006, all rights reserved.