BarTalk June 1999
Volume 11, Number 3

Navigating the rocky terrain of an office break-up

by David J Bilinsky

How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you’re on your own)
No I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mm Get high with a little help from my friends
Mm Gonna try with a little help from my friends

Words and Music by Lennon and McCartney

You are left staring at the empty doorway. Your soon-to-be ex-partner has just dropped another zinger at you. You are choosing your means of response–all of which seem inevitably heading towards litigation. Tension has never been higher. Rather than having a clean, amicable separation, you are headed towards a long, acrimonious battle over files, furniture and funds. Along the way there will be victims–lost time and productivity, disruption in your personal and professional life, spill-over into your personal relationships and not least of all, the loss of a once-close friend. The spectre of a complaint to the Law Society is also raising its ugly head. How did things get so fouled up? What can be done to defuse the situation?

It is a sad fact that while some office break-ups or separations are achieved without a too-high level of stress and discord, others are not. In other cases, skirmishes foreshadow the inevitable and take their toll on relationships, creating stress and making the act of breaking up much harder than it need be. Break-ups are not the only cause of interpersonal stress in the office. Partner disputes, associate disputes, partners or associates leaving, issues over files, issues over office expenses, issues over money–all these situations call for quick settlement, mediation and/or arbitration rather than prolonged litigation.

What can we do? There are a number of options available to lawyers caught in these situations. We are going to review the existing avenues and highlight a new program just created by the CBA, BC Branch, to assist members caught in these high-stress situations.

Interlock
This service provides counselling to members of The Law Society and their families. Stress management is key. Counselling is offered for personal problems, relationship and family concerns, work-related and career-related concerns among others. This counselling service is free and is funded by The Law Society. Call 431.8200 or 1.800.663.9099 or email interlock@-eap.com (www.interlock-eap.com).

LAP
Lawyers Assistance Program. This confidential program provides assistance to lawyers undergoing chemical or alcohol problems, stress, depression or other personal problems. Funded by The Law Society, it is run by Derek LaCroix (email: lapbc@aol.com). The counselling is a pro bono service provided by other lawyers. Call 604.685.2171 or toll-free 1.888.685.2171 to either volunteer or for further information.

Talk to people
In Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman states: “Add the sounds of silence to the list of emotional risks to health–and close emotional ties to the list of protective factors. Studies done over two decades involving more than thirty-seven thousand people show that social isolation–the sense that you have nobody with whom you can share your private feelings or have close contact–doubles the chances of sickness or death. Isolation itself, a 1987 report in Science concluded, ‘is as significant to mortality rates as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and lack of physical exercise.’ Indeed, smoking increases mortality risk by a factor of just 1.6, while social isolation does so by a factor of 2.0, making it a greater health risk.”

The inference is clear–as lawyers we need to break down the barriers that keep lawyers apart. It is not surprising that lawyers are characterized as solitary gladiators–fighting for our clients. However, this characterisation carries a high price. Building a social network is important–especially to those who practice as solos or in small communities. Talking through problems can lead to insights, new ideas and new approaches.

Mediate
The Canadian Bar Association, BC Branch is considering starting a new service for lawyers wishing to call in a fellow practitioner to help mediate and/or arbitrate a partner dispute, an associate dispute, a firm dissolution, a partner or associate departure or disagreements over matters of files or money or indeed any other intra-office matter. Barry Cavanaugh, the Executive Director of the CBA, BC Branch is building a roster of lawyers who have a background in mediation and practice management and who are willing to work with their fellow lawyers to settle these types of problems before they erupt into bigger problems. The fees payable to the mediators and other details in these mediation situations are to be settled between the parties and the mediator directly. In addition, the CBA maintains lists of lawyers who are willing on a pro bono basis to take calls from lawyers in substantive and practice management areas.

Talk to the party involved
Parties in conflict erect walls around them. Sometimes it will take a long and considered approach to break down these walls. In other cases it may not happen or be possible at all. However, by trying at least you can walk away knowing that you gave it your best shot. In other cases, it may be that as little contact as possible is what is required, in order to give the other party a chance for their own nerve endings to desensitize and for time to work its magic.

Call the Law Society
Felecia Folk at 604.443.5738, (email: ffolk@lsbc.org) the Practice Standards Advisor for The Law Society, handles calls on disposition of files, the ethical considerations in breaking up a firm and other questions on the standards to be maintained in practice. As the new Practice Management Advisor, you can reach me at 604.605.5331 (email: dbilinsky@lsbc.org) for questions on office systems, technology and office management matters. All communications are strictly confidential.

Exercise
It is well established that exercise opens up our minds and burns off adrenaline and stress. There are very few of us who cannot benefit in some manner from a shot of endorphins and an oxygen boost. At the very least you have escaped the negative office situation for a short while!

Take Charge
In most cases the worst thing to do is to do nothing at all. Size up the situation and set your course. Let others determine their direction accordingly. At least you are determined to keep moving forward. The others will either choose to follow or go off on their own path. Either way you set the pace.

Breathe
Stewart Levine, a lawyer and mediator, says there is no way to “unpunch” someone. Before throwing that next verbal knockout jab, take a deep breath or 10. In hindsight, you may be thankful you did, if for no other reason than your own self-esteem and sense of self-worth.

Call it
Recognize when you have reached an inevitable end. No relationship must last forever. In this situation, trying to resuscitate a dead horse is doing no one any good. Best to come to a decision and then direct your energies into moving in a more positive and fulfilling direction.

As our profession prides itself on providing assistance to people, all of us can be assured that we are never out there alone. We all can get by with a little help from our friends.

David J Bilinsky is the practice management advisor at the Law Society of British Columbia. He can be reached via email at dbilinsky@lsbc.org.

This article originally appeared in the June 1999 issue of BarTalk and is reproduced here with permission of both the author and the Canadian Bar Association, British Columbia Branch.